Finger and toe crossing works: Good doctor report today -

Serum sickness is healing. Lovely! I won't miss looking like Rip Taylor's bucket of confetti and feeling just bad enough to almost tell the woman in the waiting room sitting next to me to "Please, Shut Your Piehole." Which almost happened last Thursday. But from the look on her face, I didn't say it. I must be feeling stronger inside enough to get hacked off to begin with and mainly to control myself. But man, she beat everything. With a stick.

She got in my face, right up in my personal space, with my brain quickly referencing my last batch of white cell counts. My mother knows her and helped treat her at this clinic 15 years ago, so she introduced her to me, telling her about my ITP. This woman lit up like a spotlight and leaned in with rapid-fire sentences (ps: don't do this to someone on Prednisone, lights and volume hurt),

"Oh no. Do you have ITP? Oh, I have ITP! I've had it for 15 years. Oh oh, but I don't have it anymore. Oh, yeah, it's bad, isn't it! Yes, it is. Me, I'm here today, I just had a li'l petechiae here and a bruise pop up right here, and so, here I am, I came in to get my platelet count because I'm going out of town! Is that petechiae you have? Oh let me see...oh my, no, that's not petechiae. That looks like welts. Oh no, you have something else. Definitely something else. Hey look at this (beckoning stranger across the room), she has something all over, but it's not petechiae. That looks serious." At this point, I almost said, "Yes, I do have something. It's called KMA. That means Kiss My Ass. Now Stop It."

My dad shoulda never taught me that KMA thing as a child. But it just comes in handy sometimes. Actually, a lot of times.

Luckily, the nurse called the woman in for her bloodwork. I blearily turned to my mother with all the might I remember and said, "Did I hit her in the head with this water bottle?" She said, "No. They called her back. I'm sorry. She's nuts, bless 'er. Can you believe she's a therapist?" I thought, "Good Lord, Physician, heal thyself," and tried to think of the Benadryl I was soon to take. I think I love Benadryl now. Love is funny like that, isn't it?

I'm sorry, but I thought that story was funny, so onto the Good Report:
Latest stats:
last platelet transfusion (two-bagger) was last Friday @ 68k
rechecked them Sunday, only fallen to 47k (translate: a nice hold)
today, my platelet count held well @ 37k (translate: this is very good news)
because usually, at this point, I'm at 11k and ready for a platelet transfusion, but not today!

Gimme about 278k more, baby, and that's my goal within the next 3 months -- to be back where I was last October 2005. Oblivious, on the outside, but high-normal with 315k -- with a new career helping people with blood drives and hopefully any type of healing I can offer.

If I haven't reinforced this, put this in your PDA, write it on your mirror in lipstick, post-it to your manager's forehead: Get your annual checkup no-fail, people. I almost called in sick for mine this past October, thinking, eh, too tired, what's the use, sure I'm fine. But why do I have three bruises on my leg shaped like the dog's paw? Get your CBC, rest and play, and eat your goodies.

This is good news. I may be making my own platelets. Brewing up a baby cuppa platelets from the inside out! The counts will go up and down, but this is good -- can even make my mom coffee in the mornings and bring it to her in bed so we can gossip and gab like yawny roommates. Which is so much more suitable for me than shuffling around trying to Not Bruise Anything Like an Overripe Banana. God love that mother o' mine, between her and the exceptional care at UMC, I have been taken care of like no other facility in this region. Can't brag on them enough. Ask me if you ever need a good doctor, which I hope you don't.

Only one, teeeeeeeeeny complaint: I miss the HECK outta my PG Tips only because I'm avoiding caffeine. How long will that last? Oh for sure, I miss my afternoon teatime. And watching "Wallace and Gromit" only makes me hungry for m' PG Tips and cheeeeeeeeese. Although I have never had Wensleydale. Oh, I will though!

You know what else I've been doing? Eating even more of those green leafy veggies, extra virgin olive oil, with grapes and avocados and pears and apples and dried cherries (need to throw in some cheeses and pumpkin seeds soon), and more folic acid in oranges and juice but stay away from the grapefruit if your meds won't allow it. Can't wait to get back to some tandoori chicken and sushi and Los Compadres' fresh chicken soup. Been researching more foods for Very O+. Will update soon.

So anyway, you know what I want you to do? The exact same -- stay healthy, steam it slightly if you don't like the raw. Wilt some kale with a grating of nutmeg (which goes well on any dark leafy green). But dang it, do live a little with some greasy corn chips, or sweets -- chocolate, I say -- dark Cadbury's with or without fruit and nuts should do it. So do it. And take a nap when you need it. Trust me, you need it. I didn't before. But I swear, it reboots your buttbone.

And trust me, you want that.